Tales of Shame
by Andra Black
Summary: Madara wakes up after having a dream about something he wished to forget. Tobi notices his bothered behavior and soon enough everyone is wanting to pitch in some embarrassing secrets they've witnessed.
1. Chapter 1

**Another story connecting to Loverofakatsuki's story line!**

Madara woke up in a cold sweat, cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he slapped his forehead. Why, pray do tell, does he keep having that dream? He didn't need to see continuous rewinds of that night! It was long forgotten, was, and didn't matter anymore, though it was still a shameful secret he'd keep to himself.

So why? Was Lexy having the same dreams by chance? The elder shook his head, making up in his mind that coffee was what he needed to fog that image away.

So coffee he will get.

. . . . . .

Not finding any source of coffee in the kitchen he groaned, rubbing his temples in annoyance.

"Bloody Hell." he muttered, nearly jumping out of his skin a cheery voice piped out from behind him.

"What's wrong Maddy?"

The raven visibly twitched, clearly not liking the nickname that only ONE person was allowed to call him, and it definitely wasn't Tobi. Turning around with a growl he faces the boy with sharp glare.

"It's none of your business Tobi."

"Is it about Loo-Loo?" he asked innocently, tilting his head cutely.

Bingo. Hit a nerve. And it was easily caught from the way Madara stiffened his back with a look of nervousness. Hiding a gleeful grin behind his mask Tobi pushed on.

"What happened between Loo-Loo and Maddy? Is Maddy hiding something from Tobi?"

As if he had spoken the magic words, rather loudly actually, everyone in he residence spilled into the kitchen, eager to hear what sort of embarrassing secrets the elder was keeping from them. Also for a way to blackmail him.

With his will failing and prideful stature struggling to stand tall, Madara finally gave up and sat down at the table from the puppy eyed look Olivia sent him, looking far too adorable in her choice of kitty paw print pyjamas.

"I suppose I should tell you, might be a good way to lift the burden from my shoulders." He muttered, flicking his irritated eyes over their eager forms, stopping at Kakuzu.

"Though he already knows about it, I only told him a rough bit of it."

Everyone looked to Kakuzu, who had a confused expression on his face before his exotic eyes widened upon realisation. He then smirked, leaning forward. Noticing the miser's odd behaviour the elder growled.

"It was before I adopted Lexy as my niece."

"Ooh~ I love flashbacks." Olivia cooed, snuggling into Kakuzu's lap to get comfortable.

"Before we do that I'm going to give you the details on that we were dating before that. When we first met, as cliché as it sounds, we were already drawn to each other, though it was in a rather odd way." He admitted, remembering the sudden overprotectiveness he felt towards the girl that time, and the homely sensation he got whenever she got near him.

. . . . .

"So~ where are you taking me this time Madara?" Lexy asked the raven, fidgeting and fiddling with the hems of her dress as they walked down a block lined with fancy restaurants and family business cafés.

Madara chuckled at the nervous way she walked, obviously uncomfortable with wearing heels, although they were thick and only half inch. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders he pointed to a building decorated with floral patterns.

"It's a special restaurant that cooks exceptionally healthy cuisines. It has a soothing environment." he explained calmly, nodding to the waitress that opened the door for them.

The brunette went slack jawed upon seeing the elegant decorations that could've been made by fairies. It looked magical to say the least. Simple round wooden tables fit for certain numbers of people lined with painted flowers, real ones put in a soft green vase sitting in the centre of the table. The walls were painted a forest green with shades of yellow blended in.

It was really beautiful.

"Oh my gods Madara! It's extraordinary!" She exclaimed, almost jumping happily.

"Table for two?" asked the waitress.

Madara nodded and the couple was led to a table stationed next to a stained glass window.

. . . . .

"I don't really see how all this could result to something that you would be so embarrassed about, un." Deidara stated with boredom, only to be smacked upside the head by Sasori.

"Quiet brat." he hissed, gesturing for the raven to continue.

"I guess it would be better to skip the date and onto the main part." Madara thought aloud to himself.

. . . . . . . .

After the dinner they headed to a hotel to stay for the night, the idea suggested by the elder, though for some reason an awkward feeling was settling in his gut but he shook it off, unknown to him that Lexy was having the same problem.

When they entered the rented room they were both hesitant, the uneasiness growing inside them, but eventually Madara managed to man up, repeatedly telling himself that he was only nervous because she was the first girl to ever approach him and have feelings for.

Tilting her chin up with a smile he started off with a chaste kiss, to which she soon responded to and her arms circled his neck. Heart ready to burst, it felt a bit off, but nonetheless he nudge her towards the bed while entering a battle for dominance.

The awkwardness increased, no matter how much he tried to keep things heated, all the way up to the point where they were both completely bare to each others gazes.

Madara scratched his neck, glancing down at his member that was hard only seconds ago, and was now limp, unsatisfied with the lack of lustful tension. Lexy seemed to have the same issue, and was glancing off to the side, face red with embarrassment, as his was, with a grimace.

Pursing his lips he crawled off the bed, shaking his head as he got dressed. That was just too weird, and definitely a turn off.

"Let's... head back to the apartments?" she said unsurely, unable to summarise the situation and would rather get back to the residence and forget what happened that evening.

. . . . . .

In the end Madara felt lighter, no longer feeling discriminated by the memory.

"It could've been worse, you should've been there the day when me and Kakuzu were fucking dragged into a damn toy store by Tobi and Olivia." Hidan interjected, grinning at the miser who was glaring at him, daring him to open his mouth.


	2. My Money!

After they finished browsing through the water guns, Hidan, Olivia, and Tobi noticed that the man who was to help purchase their selection of aqua pistols was missing. Searching around for the miser proved an arduous task, which was a wonder considering his posture and appearance. Hidan wandered away from the two after they decided to split up, soon finding himself in the board games isle and came upon an incredulous scene.

Kakuzu was sitting in a pile of fake cash from Monopoly boxes that were torn and scattered about, the useless currency neatly piled around him, soon knocked over when an employee walked up to the behemoth, clearly not afraid of his intimidating being.

"Excuse me son but I'm afraid that you will have to leave the store while your parents pay for the mess you made." spoke the middle aged woman, readjusting her cracked glasses.

. . . . . .

Everyone except Kakuzu howled in laughter, some clutching their stomachs and wiping tears from their eyes.

"S-she thought you was a KID?!" Kisame gasped out, trying not to choke on air.

"That's not the best part!" Hidan shouted, continuing the story.

. . . . . . .

"My money!" Kakuzu piqued, gathering as much of it as he could, ready to kill the woman for not only calling him a child but also knocking over the neat stack he had made.

This all ended when he saw Hidan standing nearby, stifling his laughter as the staff member grabbed Kakuzu's ear, dragging him away from the catastrophe while the miser merely hollered out in dismay, reaching his hands out to his one loved money with tears forming in his eyes.

. . . . . .

Everyone was leaning against each other, unable to breathe properly and almost passing out.

"You CRIED for monopoly cash, un?! MAN you're such a miser, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed, rolling on the floor since he fell out of his chair.

Kakuzu remained silent, lying his head on the table and hiding under his arms.

"That happened two months after I began living here, that's the only time I remember all four of us going to the toy store." Olivia stated, thinking back on the day when security suddenly came out and dragged all of them out of the shop because her 'son' killed their manager.

"Kakuzu was a walking statue after I fucking explained to him what the fucking money really was, it was priceless!" The priest chortled, slamming his fist on the table dying his fits of laughter.

"You're one to talk." Kakuzu growled, already having a story to get back at the Jashinist.

"What about that time when Lexy scared you? That was pretty hysterical." He reminded his lover, highly pleased at how pale Hidan's face became.


	3. Pikachu!

The albino sighed, pleased with the sizzling water rolling of his smooth back. It had been a somewhat rough day, and for some reason all his muscles were stiff as a washboard, but all that was quickly fixed with a nice, hot shower. Switching off the faucet he left the tub, grabbing a towel to tie around his waist and exit the bathroom.

Hearing a tiny "Chu!" he glanced around the room, freezing when he spotted a giant, yellow, mouse. The creature looked oddly familiar, and it took a while to scramble about in the disorganized files of his brain to figure out that it was from the show Pokémon Olivia and Tobi always watched, and it didn't look too happy with him.

"Pikachu! Attack with Thunderbolt!"

"The Fuck?!" Hidan exclaimed, looking around to see Lexy popping out of nowhere.

Wearing that horrifying clown mask, and a bolt of lighting barely missing somewhere very important.

He froze yet again, putting together puzzle pieces to figure out what just happened, and to keep from pissing himself.

"Great! He's paralyzed! Finish him off Pikachu!" Lexy ordered.

"Pika!"

Before the yellow mouse could use Volt Tackle Hidan screamed for all it was worth and hightailed out of the room, not caring that his towel had gotten loose and fallen off.

. . . . . .

"Tobi KNEW that Pokémon were real!"

"How the hell did she get a Pikachu?" Olivia wondered aloud.

"And you know of this how?" Madara asked the miser, who simply pointed to Sasori who was holding up a video tape.

"I need to fucking be careful about those cameras." Hidan groaned, hiding his face in his arms.


	4. Sex Dolls

Light footsteps came from upstairs and a certain brunette padded into the kitchen stretching with a yawn, eyes still closed and hair a tousled mess that Kisame seemed to favor, judging from the large grin showing off his teeth. Circling the table she plopped down in the shark man's lap and wiggled in to get comfy.

"So what with the little get together?" she mumbled tiredly, rubbing her squinting eyes.

"We're sharing stories of embarrassing moments we've experienced or witnessed." Olivia answered, eyeing the hand that was caressing her thigh up and down and glanced at Hidan with a warning glare.

"Oh?" the teen perked up instantly with a smile, having the gal to slap Kisame's hip from her spot, to which the man growled.

"I think I got a good one involving Sasori and his so called 'puppets'."

The mentioned redhead suddenly felt scared for his reputation.

. . . . . .

Lexy was playing a game of tag with Tobi, Olivia, and Deidara; and she was it. Though instead of chasing them she took to climbing a corner and perching at the top till one of them tried to sneak past. Eventually Tobi had crept right under her and she leapt onto him with a shout, definitely startling the boy out of his wits since he looked up at the sound and squealed like a little girl during the split second it took for the collision.

They both stopped laughing long enough to hear an unfamiliar voice coming from one of the rooms. The Artists' room. It sounded like someone was trying a crappy job at mimicking someone else's voice, and suddenly the image of her older brother playing with Barbies came to Lexy's mind, causing her to snort.

The duo tiptoed to the door and silently turned the knob to open it just a crack so they could peek inside, curious as to who it could've been. To their surprise, it was Sasori; using his chakra strings to control four miniature puppets that looked oddly familiar.

Narrowing her eyes Lexy confirmed that they were puppet versions of Deidara, Olivia, Tobi, and herself, which was rather ironic if she could say so herself.

Her miniature self was walking on its hands with the others skipping around in circles, while Sasori did a poor attempt at sounding like a kid singing Ring Around the Rosie.

Successfully keeping from even smirking Lexy found herself softly singing along as well as Tobi.

Suddenly the puppeteer got a VERY strange look in his eyes, and his fingers shifted to make the puppets get close. Intimately. Lexy put with Deidara and Olivia with Tobi.

What-The-Fuck was he planning?

The brunette and the raven glanced at each other with equally worried expressions before continue to watch the odd scene.

From the way the puppets were moving their heads at a tilted angle the duo guessed they were kissing. Very fervently. The teen found her wide eyes transfixed on the sight, going slack jawed when Sasori made a very weird noise that she could only figure out was supposed to be her moaning and the puppets began to remove each other's clothes.

Unknown to them Deidara and Olivia had spotted them peeping through the door and joined in, both blondes instantly having similar expressions as the brunette. It only got worse when Sasori made obnoxious squeals that were meant to be loud moans and by that point Tobi had slapped a hand over his single eye hole and walked away, disturbed for life.

His action was soon copied by the other three, though Lexy stayed behind to pull out her iPod and take a quick picture of Sasori's face when he made a ridiculous face that was supposed to be Olivia's when she climaxed and finally barked a laugh on how it turned out on the picture, taking off in a sprint to catch up with the others.


	5. Papa Bear

Everyone fell back in their chairs when Lexy passed her iPod around the table to show the picture, Deidara being affected the most, face turning tomato red with tears streaming down his face and hands clutching his stomach.

Sasori repeatedly banged his head against the table, cursing himself for his stupidity at not locking the door that day.

"Ok, anyone else?" Kisame uttered, arms circling his kitten's waist, the table hiding the sight of his hands teasing the inside of her thighs with figure-eights.

At this Sasori jolted his head up with a crazed grin, fully intent to get back at the girl.

"Papa Bear." he simply uttered, smirking at her suddenly stiff posture, wide angry eyes, and twitching brow.

. . . . . . .

Sasori was once again clearing out disks to reuse and came a peculiar one that he at first found far too cute to delete, and hit play with a softening expression in his eyes.

Lexy was lying in Kisame's and Itachi's bed alone since the two were out on a mission that night, clinging to the plump body of a fluffy white human sized teddy bear that she called Papa Bear. The side of her face was pressed into the stuffed animal's stomach, making her cheek enlarge somewhat to give her a pouting child's appearance. Her matching Hello Kitty pajamas didn't help with the cuteness the scene portrayed.

Kisame would've killed to have a picture of this

Bringing out a camera to take a picture of the irresistible image he paused when he heard the softest of moans and looked back at the screen in bewilderment to see the brunette awkwardly rubbing against the doll.

Eyes twitching and jaw slowly dropping he watched as the girl shifted upwards to bite the bear where he presumed the neck would be if it had one, and her hand wandering down to the groin area.

A loud smack was heard when the puppeteer slapped his forehead, not believing he just witnessed a teenage girl molesting a teddy bear of all things in her sleep, while in her lovers' own bed.

Rewinding it he paused it so he could take a NORMAL picture of her snuggling the behemoth sized doll and switched off the monitor, saving the file for later use just in case.

. . . . . .

The brunette groaned in the hand covering her face while snickers and chuckled were replaced with cooing 'aw's as the said photo was passed around.

"Revenge was taken in the same method." Madara muttered, giving a fatherly smile upon seeing the picture.

"Oh OH! Tobi has one!"

All eyes went to the masked raven, who looked pointedly at Kisame, WHO was stealing a couple moments to dominate the girl's mouth to cheer her up.

Which worked. Obviously.

The brute pulled away from the gratifying kiss when he felt heavy stares on him.

"What?" he grumbled, shivering when Lexy took to kissing his neck with love bites.

"Dress- Up Princess." was all Tobi said, and Kisame was immediately stuttering pleas for him to not utter a word of the yet to be told incident.


	6. Dress-Up Princess

It was a long, uneventful day for the residence, except for Tobi, who was being himself in his room, playing with a Dress-Up Dora doll. The only problem was; he was alone. Thinking over who would be willing to play with him, his first thought was Olivia.

"But Olivee is planning for a girls only night with Loo-Loo." he stated aloud.

Next was Kisame, whom he could recall lounging about in the living room, chugging down several bottles of Saké. A large, wicked grin that put Hidan to shame, even during his rituals, spread across the boy's face as he gathered all the cosmetic supplies he could find, including a few costume dresses, and snuck out to find the hopefully hammered swordsman.

. . . . .

"So let me get this straight." Lexy interjected.

"Why in the name of the gods were you drinking during the middle of the day?" she inquired to Kisame, who groaned in exasperation.

"It had been a long while since I got to drink, and since you were going out and Itachi wasn't 'In the Mood', I just went on and grabbed all the alcohol I could find." he explained, not bothering to beg the boy not to continue. "And besides, who says I can't? I'm a wanted criminal." he added, garnering several nods of agreement from the others.

"Tobi will continue!"

. . . . . . . .

Sure enough, the brute was slumped on the sofa, a half empty bottle hanging limply from his hand, which was hung over the side of the couch. Tiptoeing to the tanked man Tobi silently whispered, "Kisame? Can you play with Tobi for a bit?"

Kisame popped his eyes open with a grumble. "Hmm? Yeah...sure, lead the way." he slurred, stumbling down the halls as the boy gave a squeal and grabbed his arm, proceeding to drag the man back to his room.

Once inside Tobi had the behemoth sit in a chair, where the man all but conked out, and approached the sleeping form when he returned with his arms full of 'supplies'.

After an entire two hours and a bit of struggling to lift the brute to see which dress suited him best Tobi back off, a sick, creepy giggle escaping him as he pulled out a camera.

"Say cheese~" he chanted.

. . . . .

Roars of boisterous laughter echoed in the room as Tobi eagerly passed the photo around, though not daring to let Kisame get a hold of it lest it'd wind up in shreds.

His black eyelids had been painted over with vibrant purple eyeshadow, lips a glossy pink with a dab of glitter, and a special gel used to flatten his spiked hair to allow a sparkling tiara to rest upon his head.

A spring green dress adorned his body, the long sleeves flowing down to his wrists, and the skirt having a crippled texture, fluttering to brush mid calf, and an ocean blue bow tied around his waist.

After calming down Hidan decided to blurt out, "What about that time Olivia braided Itachi's fucking hair and put hairspray on it?"

Itachi visibly bristled at the mentioned incident, whereas Olivia gave him an apologetic smile.

"He fucking came back from a mission with his hair completely frizzled and crispy after a fire jutsu gone fucking wrong. Thanks to the hairspray being flammable and making it impossible to take down the fucking braid." the albino boasted with a grin.

Kisame sent his lover a wary look whilst Lexy raised her brows at picturing the weasel having a bad hair day like that. It must've been a long while before she came along since his hair looked perfectly fine now.

Zetsu abruptly stood, stretching his arms. "It's been a long morning. **So we should probably get breakfast**. Come on Tobi." "Tobi's coming!"

Everyone else soon followed his example and headed off in different directions, planning on getting their day started with either a hearty breakfast or a refreshing shower.


End file.
